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Grieving on Mother's Day: Insights From a Therapist in Bel Air, MD

Hi! It's your friendly neighborhood therapist in Bel Air, MD again with some more tips to cope with the relationships in your life. Mother's Day is a wonderful day to celebrate the mothers in your life, but it can also be a triggering holiday for those who have lost their mother or for those who do not have the best relationship with their mothers. In this blog, I will discuss ways to cope with the loss and provide some insights for those who would like to support their loved ones who are grieving during Mother's Day.

How Losing Your Mom Changes You

Losing your mom is a profound and life-altering experience that can deeply impact every aspect of your life. Here are some ways in which the loss of your mom may change you:

  1. Shift in Identity: Losing your mom can lead to a fundamental shift in your sense of identity. For many people, their mom plays a central role in shaping their identity and providing a sense of belonging and connection. Without her presence, you may find yourself reevaluating who you are and how you fit into the world.

  2. Emotional Impact: The loss of your mom can evoke a wide range of emotions, including grief, sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief in some cases. These emotions may come in waves and can be intense and overwhelming at times. It's important to allow yourself to feel and process these emotions in your own time and in your own way.

  3. Reevaluation of Relationships: Losing your mom can prompt a reevaluation of your relationships with other family members, friends, and even yourself. You may find yourself seeking deeper connections with loved ones or reassessing the significance of certain relationships in your life. Additionally, the loss may lead to a greater appreciation for the relationships you have and a desire to nurture and cherish them.

  4. Shift in Priorities: The loss of your mom can also lead to a shift in your priorities and values. You may find yourself reevaluating what is truly important to you and what you want to prioritize in your life. This can include a greater focus on self-care, personal growth, and meaningful experiences.

  5. Spiritual and Existential Reflection: Losing your mom can prompt existential questions about life, death, and the meaning of existence. You may find yourself grappling with questions about mortality, the afterlife, and the purpose of suffering. This can be a deeply spiritual and existential journey that leads to greater insight and understanding.

Overall, losing your mom is a profound and transformative experience that can change you in profound ways. It's important to allow yourself the time and space to grieve and process your loss, while also seeking support and connection from loved ones and professionals who can help you navigate this difficult journey. As a therapist, I often witness my clients hurting and feeling alone in their feelings. It’s important to remember that you are not crazy or weak for feeling any way that you do.

Grieving a Relationship You Wish You Had With Your Mom

For some individuals, Mother's Day may also bring up feelings of grief and sadness for the relationship they wish they had with their mother, even if their mother is still alive. Here are some insights:

  • Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to mourn the loss of the relationship you desire.

  • Seek therapy or support groups to explore these feelings and work through unresolved issues.

  • Focus on building healthy relationships with other maternal figures or creating a chosen family that provides love and support.

    What to Say to Someone Grieving on Mother's Day

When someone close to you is grieving on Mother's Day, it can be challenging to find the right words to offer comfort and support. Here are some tips:

  • Acknowledge their feelings and validate their grief. Avoid comments that would make them feel like they should be over it by now. Grief is a life long journey and it’s important to keep that in mind when you are trying to support someone who is grieving.

  • Offer to listen without judgment and provide a safe space for them to express their emotions. This can be as simple as reminding them that you have no expectations for them and that you can handle awkward silence or if they’d prefer to be alone.

  • Avoid cliches or minimizing statements such as "She's in a better place" or "Time heals all wounds." Although this may be what you believe, it’s important to prioritize validating their feelings.

  • Offer practical support, such as helping with errands or chores, or simply being present.

How to Cope With Mother's Day After Loss

Chenelle Ellie, LCSW-C is a trained Mother Hunger Faciliator

For those who are grieving the loss of their mother, Mother's Day can be a painful reminder of their absence. Here are some strategies to cope:

  • Honor your mother's memory by creating a ritual or tradition that celebrates her life.

  • Reach out to friends or family members for support and companionship.

  • Take care of yourself physically and emotionally by engaging in self-care activities that bring you comfort and peace.

  • Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment and give yourself permission to grieve in your own way and time.

These are some suggestions to get you started, but remember to listen to your body and do ultimately do what’s best for you.

Could You Use Support With The Loss of Your Mother From a Therapist in Bel Air, MD?

Chenelle Ellie, LCSW-C- Therapist in Bel Air, MD

Whether you are grieving the loss of your mother who has passed away or you are grieving the relationship you wish you had with your mother, I can help! As a Mother Hunger Facilitator, I specialize in supporting women who have experienced a lack of nurturance, guidance, or protection from their mothers. This can be due to your mother passing away when you were still a child or if your mother was physically there, but for whatever reason unable to provide you with these key aspects in parenting.

If you are struggling with grief or navigating a complex mother-daughter relationship, I'm here to help. As a therapist specializing in mother-daughter relationships and relationship anxiety, I can provide support and guidance to help you cope with your emotions and navigate challenging dynamics. I provide psychoeducation groups for those who are not ready to begin therapy or already have an individual therapist and I can also support you one on one in individual therapy.

If you find yourself struggling during this time of year, don't hesitate to reach out for therapy and support. Even if you can’t really pin point why you are not feeling your best, it may be a sign that your body is telling you that there is something you still need to process. I would be honored to be a co-pilot in your healing journey with you,