Going to therapy is becoming increasingly popular in recent years, especially after the pandemic. Maybe after searching for a therapist in Bel Air, MD, you’ve realized it isn’t as easy as it looks. Why don’t more therapists accept my insurance? Why can’t I find a black therapist in Silver Spring, MD? Why hasn’t counseling worked for me in the past?

There are many preconceived beliefs about therapy. Most of the time, when a client starts the therapy process with a therapist, it takes a few sessions for the therapist to educate the client on how therapy actually works. Here is a list of common myths I hear from new clients or people who have never been to therapy. Understanding why these myths are false can really help with finding the right therapist for you and being more prepared when starting the therapeutic process.

Myth: It is a therapist’s job to tell me what to do and give me advice.

I hear this myth very often. It is not your therapist’s job to give you advice. It is our job to help you reach a conclusion yourself. I seldomly give my clients advice. The only times I will absolutely give advice is when it involves the safety of my clients and their loved ones. Most of the time, my sessions consist of me listening to my clients’ experiences, validating their feelings, and assisting them in exploring what will work best for their lives. Then after brainstorming different options, the client then chooses the route that is the best for them.

Myth: If I have a therapist who is not of the same race as me, I will have to spend too much time explaining cultural norms in therapy sessions and the therapist may ultimately not understand.

I often hear from clients that there are not enough therapists of color for the clients that wish to see them. Until the licensing boards and overall health system address this issue, I encourage clients to explore other options. The best option that I find to work well with many clients is finding a white therapist who is culturally competent. There are plenty of white therapists or therapists who are not the same race as their clients who are able to work with clients with their cultural norms. If you are considering a therapist who is not of the same race as you, I will encourage you to schedule a consultation. A consultation will give you the opportunity to ask the questions necessary to feel comfortable working with the therapist in the future. One of those questions could be “Have you ever worked with an African American client before and do you feel comfortable addressing my issues regarding microaggressions?”.

Learn more about other questions to ask in consultation appointments with a potential therapist.

Myth: I will just go to a psychiatrist and get medication instead of going to therapy. This will fix my mental health issues.

While prescription medication is one way to help with mental health issues, it does not work for everyone. Medication management will help numb the intense feelings when you experience anxiety, depression, or physiological symptoms. But there are other factors to consider.

1)     Are you planning on taking medication forever? If not, you will eventually need to learn other coping skills to manage your mental health issues. If you decide to no longer take your medication, you will be right back to square one and unable to deal with your painful feelings.

2)     There may be side effects from the medication. It is important to ask your medical provider about possible side effects, so you are aware of any risks when taking new medication.

3)     Your psychiatrist will not spend a significant amount of time discussing your mental health issues. Many clients are surprised by how quick a psychiatrist appointment is. This is because your psychiatrist’s goal is to make sure you are doing well with the current medication regimen and that you are not experiencing any side effects. If you would like to spend more time talking about your issues in detail, finding a therapist, counselor, or psychologist is what you may need.

If medication sounds like the best solution for you, I recommend finding a therapist and a psychiatrist. You can give both permission to speak to each other and then they can work together to make sure you are getting the best care. Then after 6 months to a year of working with your therapist and learning new coping skills, you can begin to ween yourself off the medication. Then once you are no longer taking the medication, you will have to tools and resources to deal with life stressors without the medication.

Myth: All therapy sessions are 1 hour long.

Therapy sessions can be 30 minutes, 50 minutes, or 90 minutes. I’ve also seen therapists who do intensives which are days long. Once you find a therapist who you feel is a good fit for you, ask them the advantages and disadvantages of each time increment. I find that 30-minute sessions will not work for most of my clients because by the time we catch up on my client’s week, 15 minutes have gone by, and we need the remainder of the hour to work on healing and coping. There are also clients who need two 1-hour sessions a week or 90-minute sessions. These clients most likely are in crisis and need more time in therapy throughout the week. Then eventually, when the client is no longer in crisis, they can go down to one session a week.

Myth: I can just talk to my family and friends, I don’t need a therapist

Your family and friends are not equipped to help you with all your problems.

1)     It’s not fair to put that type of pressure or stress on your loved ones. Therapists spend many years preparing to adequately care for their clients without adding too much stress on themselves. Please do not add that load to your loved ones.

2)     Even if your loved ones give great advice or maybe they are therapists themselves, they still probably can’t give you the best guidance. Your loved ones are personally invested in your success. Your therapist can be an objective person to give you guidance. For example, your mother may want you to become a doctor because it will make her look good that she has a daughter who is a doctor, or she may feel like that is the only way to make a good living. Your therapist’s goal is to help you live your best life. That may involve you becoming a doctor, or it may involve you being a social media influencer, but we have no skin in the game.

 I hope this helps debunk some myths about the therapy process. Make sure you explore all issues or concerns with your therapist in Bel Air, MD (or potential therapist).  Going to therapy can truly save lives and help people become more at peace. You deserve a life that is not filled with anxiety. If you want to learn more about how to find a therapist who is the right fit for you, call 301-467-4735 and I will be more than happy to point you in the right direction. If you’d like to learn more about how I can help you with your relationship anxiety or help you with your difficult relationship with your mother, schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to learn more!