There are several aspects of counseling that are not true. These common misbeliefs make it harder for some people to seek therapy. Therapy can truly change lives for the better, so understanding the therapeutic process can help you better prepare for counseling.

When I am in social settings and people find out that I am a therapist, I often hear comments about therapy that aren’t true. “Therapy is for rich people who love to hear themselves talk.” “I don’t need to get a therapist to tell me what to do.” “I haven’t gone through anything that bad, I don’t need therapy” Here is a list of the top 4 truths about therapy that may shift your way of thinking about therapy.

There is Room for Laughter in Therapy Sessions

When most people envision therapy, they think of clients meeting with a therapist and crying for about an hour. Yes, there can definitely be tears in the therapy room, but there is also laughter. I find that many people use laughter to cope with trauma. This shows up in the therapy office as well. I may also crack a joke or make a sarcastic comment during my therapy sessions. Each person brings their own personality to the therapy office, whether it’s the client or the therapist. Even though therapy is the setting to discuss hard things, that doesn’t mean it is a dreadful process 100% of the time.

Just Because You Are in Therapy, Doesn’t Mean Your Parents Did a Terrible Job of Raising You

There’s a common belief that clients use therapy sessions to talk about how their parents have failed them, especially mothers. This is just not true. I think this belief stems from the fact that therapy often involves exploring the client’s childhood, but that doesn’t mean you had horrible parents. It’s important to explore a person’s childhood in therapy because this is the time when your brain developed. You can learn about someone’s current unhealthy coping skills or undesirable behaviors by exploring the earliest times in their life when they experienced these behaviors. For example, a child may learn that they must keep their feelings to themselves because when they voiced that they were sad, a parent yelled and told them boys don’t cry. Exploring these experiences in therapy can help clients understand the root of their undesirable behaviors. Children do not have the mental compacity to understand why awful things happen, so they create coping skills to protect themselves. Through therapy, clients will be able to recognize these situations throughout childhood and explore it through the viewpoint of an adult. A lot of the time, this involves clients recognizing that those behaviors served a purpose in the past, but now, these behaviors are getting in the way of their peace.

Clients Do Work in Between Sessions

There are plenty of clients who do not see the benefits of the homework assignments their therapists give them in between sessions. Homework assignments are crucial to the healing process. This is because therapy sessions once a week can only do so much when you are trying to heal. There are some therapists who ask their clients to journal or fill out worksheets in between sessions. There are some clients who love these tangible activities, while other clients feel like homework is just one more task they must complete.

If you are someone who dislikes homework assignments, it’s important to discuss this with your therapist. For example, if I know one of my clients enjoys journaling, I may give them periodic journaling assignments. I am also able to simply give my clients something to think about in between sessions. If I have a client who reports that they become angry frequently, but doesn’t know why, I may ask them to write down different situations that made them angry between therapy sessions so we can explore it further during the session. We can often find an overall theme for their anger together.

The Therapist and The Client Are Experts in the Room

Most people come to therapy expecting expert advice from their therapist. Your therapist will definitely provide you with guidance and tools to help with your specific issues, but the client is the expert in the room as well. Think about it, you’ve known yourself your whole life. No one, including a therapist, will be able to tell you exactly what to do in your life. Sure, there are studies, research, and evidence-based techniques that therapists study in order to give their clients guidance, but every situation is different. Every client is different, with different family members, personality traits, childhood experiences, genetics, etc.

Make sure to show up in therapy with the confidence to challenge your therapist when needed. This doesn’t mean that you are being combative or difficult, this just means that you ask plenty of questions and voice your concerns if you were to implement a certain technique. This will aid in your overall understanding, and it could give your therapist another point of view to consider. For example, if your mother causes you significant distress when you spend time with her, after further exploration, your therapist may conclude that it may be beneficial for you to limit your time spent with her. But what if she is the only one who babysits your children, what if your mom is helping you out financially, or what if you want to spend time with your little sister who is still in her care? These circumstances could make it difficult to limit time spent with your mother, so it is important to bring these circumstances up. This is why a client’s input and opinions are just as important.

I hope this helps you find the right therapist in Bel Air, MD. For help with finding counseling in Bel Air, MD, feel free to call 301-467-4735 and I will be more than happy to point you in the right direction. If you would like to learn more about how I can help you with relationship counseling in Bel Air, MD, or help with your difficult relationship with your mother, schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation with me. If you’re looking for a black therapist in Silver Spring, MD, click here to schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation.